The Plowman

Introduction
Marriage is so important and yet today must fight an uphill battle. Sometime back I was sick several days and found myself watching the Biography Channel for a good portion of the day. I watched as celebrity after celebrity was paraded before me as they recounted failed marriage after failed marriage. One couple’s 15-year marriage was lauded as a great achievement (It was his 3rd marriage and her second). Sociologists have even given up on the idea of a lifetime monogamous relationship and are now calling for multiple monogamous relationships. You can have as many as you need just be faithful during the relationship – whether it be for a week or 5 years. We must also acknowledge that Christians are not immune from marital struggles or failure as the church now boasts the same divorce rate as the general population. Why is this so tragic?
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

(Ephesians 5:25-32)

God was not seeking some way to illustrate the relationship of Christ and his church so he chose marriage. Rather marriage was created as the illustration of Christ and his church. Our marriages speak of Christ. This is important. This matters. I hope to share some things with you over the next few weeks that will help you as you seek to honor Christ through your marriage. I’m not going to tell you anything earth-shaking or revolutionary but I hope to give you some encouragement and remind you of some things that can help you along the way.

Let’s begin by stating some presuppositions:

1. The perfect marriage does not exist so quit trying to create it.
2. Marriage is a relationship – that means it is work.
3. Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition.
4. She is not your mother.
5. He is not your father.

THE BIBLICAL BASIS FOR MARRIAGE
Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 2:24-25

The first thing I want us to note therefore is that marriage is God’s idea!

4 ESSENTIALS FOR A GODLY MARRIAGE

• Severance – Genesis 2:24
• Permanence – Genesis 2:24
• Unity – Genesis 2:24
• Intimacy – Genesis 2:25

Two primary obligations:

• Wives: to know yourself so well and to respect yourself so much that you give yourself to your husband without hesitation.
• Husbands: to love your LORD so deeply and to accept yourself so completely that you give yourself to your wife without conditions.

3 MARRIAGE KILLERS

• Self-Consciousness
• Isolation
• Abandonment

How do we avoid these mistakes or get back once we’ve wandered off? That’s coming but let me say in closing, “The way back is always the same – repent and return.”